Things I'll Never Say
by CrayonsAndSunlight
Summary: Lilly's caught singing and dancing. And who exactly is it that's caught her? Why, Oliver Oken, of course.


Lilly opened the door into her room and walked inside. A soft sigh escaped her lips. She brushed her hands together. She felt the need to listen to a few songs. Her iPod was charging, and she didn't really want to use it while it was, so she decided the good old radio would have to do. Lilly pulled out her old boombox. She'd gotten it for her birthday when she was about nine years old. It was a nice pinkish color, though her mouth always insisted it was more red. Lilly plugged it in and pressed the power button. As soon as it turned on, she heard a familiar voice coming out of the speakers. The corners of her lips tugged upward. Avril Lavigne. This girl was one of her favorite singers. Lilly chewed on her bottom lip. Nobody was home. She was safe from slight embarrassment. After only a few seconds Lilly jumped from the floor.

_I'm tugging out my hair_

_I'm pulling at my clothes_

_I'm trying to keep my cool_

_I know it shows_

Avril's voice echoed in her room. It bounced off the walls, into her ears. Lilly didn't know what it was, or how she did it, but Avril Lavigne's songs always helped her when she was in a rotten mood. Well, almost always. Most of the times, anyway. Which was good, of course. Lilly knew that this was going to be one of those days where Avril could help her. She was already feeling a bit better, and the song had barely started.

_I'm staring at my feet_

_My cheeks are turning red_

_I'm searching for the words inside my head_

Lilly bopped her head to the beat of the music. A small smile creeping across her lips. She lifted her shoulders. Lilly crossed her arms over her chest. She groaned and looked down at herself. Her eyebrows raised and she shrugged. Lilly grabbed the bottom of her shirt and lifted it up her head. Leaving her only with her bra. Along with her shorts, of course. And, then, her underwear. She tossed her shirt on her bed and rocked on her heels. She opened her mouth.

_"And I'm feeling nervous_

_Trying to be so perfect_

_Cause I know you're worth it_

_You're worth it_

_Yeah"_

The words slipped out of her mouth, easily. She felt like she had been saying them all her life. Suddenly she heard a low noise. She whirled around to look at the door. No one was there. Lilly furrowed her eyebrows. She scratched the side of her face, the side of her jaw line. Her hand lowered to the back of her shoulder, where she continued scratching her skin.

_"If I could say what I want to say_

_I'd say I wanna blow you - away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight_

_If I could say what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down_

_On one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say"_

The song continue. She felt like maybe she was being watched. First that noise. And now the little feeling like someone was spying on her. It was weird. Lilly was never really paranoid. But nobody was home. She knew that. Lilly shook her head. She pushed her palms together, rubbing them together. She rotated her hands against each other.

_"It don't do me any good_

_It's just a waste of time_

_What use is it to you_

_What's on my mind_

_If ain't coming out_

_We're not going anywhere_

_So why can't I just tell you that I care"_

Those last words she sang. Lilly wasn't sure why, but she felt a sudden pain in her heart. It wasn't much. She barely even felt it, actually. But she did. And that was what mattered. She realized it. But what she really wanted to know, is why it happened. She wanted to know what it meant. Lilly had so many questions. Maybe too many for something that might have been nothing at all.

_"'Cause I'm feeling nervous_

_Trying to be so perfect_

_'Cause I know you're worth it_

_You're worth it_

_Yeah"_

Lilly shook away everything. All the thoughts. All the hunches. All the wonders. Everything. She shook her body. The beat was getting to her. Only because she let it. She let the music take over her. She let everything take over her. Lilly let her mind soar. Her body, too. Her hands roamed up her body, and above her head.

_"If I could say what I want to say_

_I'd say I wanna blow you - away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight_

_If I could say what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down_

_On one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say"_

Lilly's head bopped about. She could have sworn she heard that low noise again. But she figured it was just her. The floor in her room did squeak sometimes. It would only make sense if it was her. She was dancing, after all. Lilly wasn't sure if she was any good at dancing, but she was dancing. She did know she wasn't dreadful, though.

_"What's wrong with my tongue_

_These words keep slipping away_

_I stutter, I stumble_

_Like I've got nothing to say"_

Her body moved across her room. Her hands moved with her. Lilly closed her eyes, raising her chin just a bit higher. Her breathing was somewhat heavier than it usually was. From dancing, of course. She licked her lips. Her head tilted slightly to the side. She lifted herself higher. Her feet not flat on the floor as they had been. She was almost on her toes now.

_"'Cause I'm feeling nervous_

_Trying to be so perfect_

_Cause I know you're worth it_

_You're worth it_

_Yeah"_

The song was almost over. But it had done it's job. Avril hadn't let her down. She was definitely feeling better. Lilly didn't dance like this much. Actually, she didn't remember dancing like this ever before. Not the same style, at least. From what most people knew, she just couldn't dance. Plain and simple. But that wasn't completely true.

_"Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say_

_If I could say what I want to say_

_I'd say I wanna blow you - away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight_

_If I could say what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down_

_On one knee"_

A soft smile had been on her lips for awhile now. It hadn't left. Suddenly, she heard that noise once more. But this time, she knew it wasn't her. It was a bit louder, too. She opened her eyes and looked at the door. Her smile faded. She stopped dancing. Lilly hadn't been imagining it. There, in her doorway, was her best friend. In front of her stood Oliver Oken.

_"Marry me today_

_Yes, I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say"_

Her voice had gotten softer. Oliver grinned at her. She cocked her head, burying her eyebrows lower on her face. He stepped into her room, his arms crossed as hers had been earlier. Her hands fell down to her hips. She stared at him. Her breath had slowed down again. Lilly stood completely still, not daring to move one inch.

_"These things I'll never say"_

Her voice was barely audible. Her thoughts flew again. But, this time, they were Oliver. But the one thing she wanted to know, was why he was in her house. Lilly felt her cheeks start to heat up a bit. "What happened to that horrible singing voice?" Oliver asked, walking closer to her. He was still grinning. Lilly chewed on her lip. She gritted her teeth a little. "I've, er, been taking singing lessons." She said, softly. Oliver stopped in front of her. His body only inches from hers. And, before she knew what had happened, his lips crashed against her own. Her eyes widened, she looked at him.

Oliver stepped back. She noticed that he was avoiding her eyes. It was completely obvious. She was barely breathing. Lilly heard Oliver mumbled something under his breath. He turned his back towards her. "Oliver," she said, weakly. He started towards her door. Lilly rushed towards him, grabbing his hand. She could tell he didn't want to face her, but he turned back around and looked at her. "I'm sorry," he said. Lilly blinked. She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him full on the mouth, her eyes slowly closed. Oliver stumbled backward, his back hitting the wall, before he slipped his hands around her waist. It seemed like hours before they had finally pulled away.

"Lilly?" Oliver whispered as he looked down at her. A grin played on his lips. "Hm?" She asked, staring up at him. Before saying anything, he tucked a small section of her hair behind her ear. His hand fell to her shoulder. "Why don't you have a shirt on?" He asked, his grin getting brighter. Oliver twirled her bra strap around his finger. Lilly laughed and pulled his head towards her for another kiss.


End file.
